Feeling’s

It was difficult for her to express her feelings to him. Walking away was hard and being there with him was difficult, in that situation it was a feeling that everything happening around was just one-sided, and that one-sided was happening by her side. Trying to make a human inside her stable it was horrible to stand in front of him with that normal face. Everything was so fast that it was a question for her to understand whether it’s a feeling of love or just an adrenaline rush. The feeling which was shut for so many years was again in that same route, it was not possible to go with the flow. She was not the type of person with an aim but this time things were changing waiting, dreaming, having butterflies, fast heartbeat, everything was back. Sometimes it seemed like it’s wrong, everything was wrong that sixth sense was just a sense, not the real stuff. Suddenly, a text from him changed everything and the speed inside increased by two times. Being on time on chats was so annoying because it was never done before for anyone. Day went on, things kept on, the same chats became deeper and feeling became more intensive for her.

She was afraid of getting back to the same circle, which starts from an attractive friendship, then confession, then relationship, break up, but this time the things were different, it was her this time to start the circle and she was not knowing whether he feels the same as she feels for him. Having a booming feeling inside she just walked on. Never having a thought in a mind that someday, someone is really wanting her to be by his side, those unwanted bubbles were giggling inside whenever he came in front of her. Wanting to confess but thought of awkwardness has already blown her from inside and certain unusual overthinking has passed it without any permission. It was irritating sometimes for her to be with him as a mate but at the same time, it was a feeling of having a chance to let him know exactly what she feels. Every time the closed-door reminded her of that same emotion which she was trying to cease from so long, not only that, the fear of losing him was not accepted to her even when he was not with her. The misunderstanding was an option but again she doesn’t want to ruin the things in between them. Making a heart full of emotion heartless she never let him know what was inside her, all those screaming were flattered when he arrived.

Being a good friend to him now all what she goaled for, setting a proper texture of behavior in front of him things were changed and the probability of getting stuck with all the emotions was getting high but, still knowing all the possibilities she wanted to be part of that drama. It was not accepted by her before but an unexpected change was must to let the situation be balanced and for her to realize that it’s not on the right path whatever it is happening, this fakeness is not going to last for a long run. Things will slight get changed and also can change everything, but at least the guilt of hiding will not be there inside.

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